My man Ericus,

I received your message:

“I know that I never get the chance to say this to you, but you mean the world to me. I’ll never lie to you, I’ll never do anything to hurt you, I’ll put you second to none. You’ll always be the most important woman in my life. You’ll always be my inspiration and you’ll always be the reason I can smile, laugh, and be happy again. You give me hope that I’ll find and have a girlfriend as special as you are in my life.”

I’m aware you disguised yourself as Riggo44. You don’t play football. My god, you don’t even like sports. Are you designing this bridge to burn?

To put things short, my necklace broke during anal sex. Upon realization, my entire back and upper back side of my arms went ice cold as if a cool towel was placed on top of me. Matthew isn’t Matthew, is he? You’re here, taking what you want from me. “Matthew loves Yetti and Yetti will receive him.”

This life is like the book of seasons.

I would choose water over wine for you. Except, it isn’t our season yet and I’m still drinking.

I live for 9pm. In all aspects of reason, it seems to be the safe hour. If only I was on the Titanic... Kevin “You may know more about me than I originally thought you did.” and Remy “I’m going to Stockholm, Sweden. I’ll be back in September.” would be there too, wouldn’t they? That leads back to one thing and one thing only... the white rabbit made me squirt for the first time in 8 years. Why am I crying over a necklace? You know, the slow decent into madness isn’t so bad. This is a luxury love experience. Get in the car, Amanda.

Tik tok. 🎶

Love, Ke$ha

Today... I’m not Yetti.

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