Eden & Brady

Tonight I met Eden and Brady. Her eyes were bright. He was from Texas. I had to walk away. Better yet, let’s sage the fucking place. I’m sick of the smell of Victoria’s Secret body spray anyway. You can only smell “Very Sexy” so many times before it’s just not sexy anymore. I’m sorry. Where’s my heart?

I’m such a hypocrite. I have Bath & Body Works japanese cherry blossom spritzer in my locker. It’s been in there for years and I binge on it every time I run out of regular perfume, but feel too broke to go buy new actual perfume. Yes, strippers feel broke too. I promise.

Broken and broke. Like that one time, I watched one of my ex boyfriends and a homeless man do heroine out of a Visene bottle. The substance is squirted in your nose, not your eye, by the way. One of those moments where you question every life choice you ever made type of shit and wonder where the fuck you are going to end up next.

I hope everything works out for Eden and Brady. It would break my heart if someone got their hopes up for something they were never going to have. Wing woman.

You will never be to Brady what he is to you, Eden.

Xoxo, Yetti

Instagram & Twitter @brooyetti

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