"I could turn your wife into a pole splitter."

Today, I was inspired to write because of two internet incidents. Megan Fox uploaded photos to instagram in a school girl outfit with the caption, "it is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver." Soon after, I noticed a story about the husband of Kristi Noem, former Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), had made headlines. Allegedly, Bryon Noem was a part of the "Bimbofication" fetish community, where selfies surfaced of him posing with massive, fake silicon tits on. Furthermore, I have so many questions.

• Why did Bryon Noem feel comfortable sending these photos?

• Who did he or who did he think he was sending these photos to?

• Did someone seduce him into sending these photos or did he seek out someone to send them to on his own accord?

• Why were these photos leaked; who benefits?

• Did Kristi Noem truly have no idea?

• Why did Bryon Noem choose to live this double life?

• How many other instances of this exists beyond the spotlight?

Additionally, it reminded me of the standpoint theory assignment I had for a communications class during my Fall 2025 semester.

Before reading, I'd like for you to listen to the song Roi Wes - Go Getter.

According to the textbook in this communications class, standpoint theory is “a theory that holds that a culture includes a number of social groups that differently shape the perceptions, identities, and opportunities of members of those groups (Wood, 2016).” Generally speaking, examples of social groups within a culture include gender, race, class, and sexual orientation. However, a commonly overlooked community within many different cultures that can include individuals of different genders, races, classes, and sexual orientations is the adult entertainment industry. Today, I’d like to bring attention to the standpoint of the sex worker community in relation to their overall acceptance in Western culture.

Not only can the marginalization of this particular group be analyzed based on the common intersection of oppressions already listed, but furthermore, sex work or adult entertainment is often challenged with societal stigma and legal precarity. As a result, these individuals often are put in positions to understand and navigate their own reality and labor conditions as well as the hypocritical or coercive elements of more dominant groups in society. While labor unions and activism for this matrix of oppression is lacking (Harvey, 2020), “pimps always know everything” (Collins, 2011).

Oversimplified categorization due to society’s “mythical norm,” a term coined by Audre Lorde, is where “the trappings of power reside within this society” (Abbott, McDorman, Timmerman, & Lamberton, 2025). Often, the positionality of the sex worker’s knowledge is silenced by internal conflict as it relates to their self-valuation within communities outside their own. Dehumanized, and stereotyped as “immoral;” adult entertainers often live double lives when their work is by choice and not at the hands of criminals. Furthermore, this contributes to the stigmatized view as the most educated, well connected sex workers participate in secrecy and leave behind their less fortunate “sorority sisters.”

Considering legalities within the territory of sex work, one must keep in mind the relationships law enforcement keeps in relation to this realm. When a group of underpaid, underappreciated people are given authority over how laws are interpreted and upheld within a minority community, it becomes a breeding ground for corruption, especially under the oppression of naïve thought processes by community stereotypes that all members within the oppressed community are morally corrupt. Cumulatively, this leads to the question, should police officers be the primary buffer and voice between sex work and community?

Reliving past personal experiences, I can give two examples of run-ins with law enforcement within the strip club scene that prominently stood out to me. Employed at a topless club, when isolated with a patron, he grabbed an article of my clothing that was not permitted to be removed, and pulled it to the side the moment I turned my back to him. I verbally confronted him on his behavior, and was informed that I would not be paid what was owed to me as he flashed a police badge. Whether the badge was real or not, that could be up for debate. However, I recount another experience where I was in a VIP room costing $500 an hour per person with maybe 10 men and 10 dancers. The men were all middle aged, white, and had police badges. Additionally, they were all from one state over; carrying duffle bags full of cash. I couldn’t get past the irony of out of state police officers bringing money from a drug bust, as they informed me that’s where the money came from, into a strip club to spend. Ultimately lending to the idea that there isn’t a single group of individuals that exist who could be characterized as completely good or completely bad.

Comparatively, I find this best explained using the ancient Chinese philosophical concept of Yin and Yang. As equal opposites, attracting and complimenting, I believe community can benefit from the understanding of this ideological balance. (Wilhelm & Baynes, 1967). Inseparable and contradictory, sex work is here to stay regardless of personal stance on the topic. The truth is, sex workers have different attributions for why they do what they do and to what extent they do what they do. As our communication textbook suggests, asking key questions with an open mind and curiosity is imperative to reach a shared perspective since people from different backgrounds naturally lean on their own schemata to make judgements (Wood, 2016).

From a personal perspective, the strip club is the only environment where one will see individuals from extremely different ends of the spectrum congregate and socialize under one roof. For example, it wouldn’t be far-fetched for a dancer to be sandwiched between a local drug dealer and an international CEO at the same bar, especially in a tourist town during a convention week. What many people may not realize, my experience there was a gift. I’m controversially confident about it because I can say with conviction that working there gave me the ability to acclimate myself to any social situation and communicate effectively with a wider array of individuals. Additionally, I feel a heightened ability to read non-verbal social cues. In a setting where you are generally considered irrelevant in society, customers are not afraid to be entirely themselves. Which means, as an adult entertainer, I’ve been blessed to see first-hand some of the best and worst things strangers are capable of doing or saying. Ironically, sometimes it’s the lawyer that’s more deviant than the felon smuggling drugs to support his children, and sometimes it’s the little old man that gives you $1,000 for no reason and expects nothing. When I was there, I saw myself as a character similar to an actress with a script. It didn’t feel real, and I don’t find myself behaving in the same way outside of those walls. As my mother always said, “there is a time and a place for everything.”

Works Cited

Abbott, J. Y., McDorman, T. F., Timmerman, D. M., & Lamberton, L. J. (2025). Standpoint Theory and Ethical Rhetoric. Retrieved October 2025, from Palni Open Press: https://pressbooks.palni.org/publicspeakinganddemocraticparticipation/chapter/standpoint-theory-and-ethical-rhetoric/

Collins, A. F. (2011, May 24). Sex Trafficking of Americans: The Girls Next Door. Retrieved October 2025, from Vanity Fair: https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2011/05/sex-trafficking-201105?srsltid=AfmBOoqzaMdpYP-XY6GbCeVYIqvDWiRhau8NERbN_AXZq1qisPrVLadS

Harvey, G. E. (2020). Sex Workers and Self Advocacy. Ramifications, 2(1).

Wilhelm, R., & Baynes, C. F. (1967). The I Ching: Or, Book of Changes. Princeton University Press.

Wood, J. T. (2016). Communication Mosaics: An Introduction to the Field of Communication (8th ed.). Cengage Learning US.