Shrek & Fiona

There was once an average looking girl named Kennedy who I couldn’t keep my eyes off of. What made her special was her eyes. Her energy subtly took over an entire room. I ran into Kennedy months after not seeing her anymore at the club. Curiosity took over and I had to know what she was doing now. She told me, “I take people’s pain away without the use of narcotics.” After that statement, I secretly fell in love with her brain too.

Unfortunately, it was Shrek and Princess Fiona that asked me to move in with them. Yes, after being told 45 times to shove my nipple in her husband’s mouth, I was invited to be the nanny to their five ogre babies and move in if I would fuck them forever. It was the most uncomfortable 30 minutes of my life in the past year that I can currently recollect. Hoping this was some odd attempt at roleplay, but I never know anymore.

That’s not true. Sometimes I know. Like Mr. Maine, lover of Bolton Springs bottled water, and world traveler! He told me he was in Atlantis for the Super Bowl. Atlantis. His bragging photo, an up close picture of a fish tank. Bitch, please.

Xoxo, Yetti

Instagram & Twitter @brooyetti

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