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The Enigma of The Monarchy of BOPE

I had a dream. I’m not telling you about it, but outside I have discovered a colony of ASSASSIN BUGS!


My phone storage is full even though I clean it out much more regularly than the flower beds. I’ve been tempted to dig them up and do away with them altogether, honestly. I don’t have the time to garden and I don’t have the time to worry. It is what it is.


I bought a Virgen De Guadalupe candle today instead of having a taco night. They were placed right next to eachother at the store. Lucky me. I’m trying to stick to a diet which involves intermittent fasting. Because duh, love handles. I do own a holy napkin though. It was given to me by god... so I’m going to wipe away the tears of the world when everyone realizes that when they complete Saturn’s Return, staying in shape becomes hard work.


But, it’s like.. bitch, do you even know what I’ve been through since my Egyptian Seal Ceremony Ritual? My 50 something year old unlicensed doctor of a boyfriend brought me to Disney World at the end of April for a 5-7 day opioid binge to celebrate my 19th birthday. One of the only things I can remember is dinner with the cast of Cinderella.


The last moment I had with him, he was showing me a documentary about “The Doors,” talking about how Jim Morrison died at 27, and singing “Light My Fire.” The next thing I knew, he was dating an artist that worked in Vatican City and committing suicide.


I did metaphorically die at 27 when my fire was lit... and like I said, here I am just trying to figure out why love handles exist and also why I’m being compelled to create Biblical literary porn. I don’t know... it’s just that, strippers help people survive sometimes. The good ones, you know. A strip club is a temple and it should be treated as such. The disrespect the world shows us is coming to an end. One day, the world will call me Mother Yetti.


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Xoxo, Yetti

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